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To all the Malala haters…

~ Urvashi Mehta ~ Leave a comment

I’ve been watching and reading about Malala since that fateful day in 2012 when she was shot in the face and catapulted into the international limelight. The one thing that has always struck me is her clear and passionate “voice” – she had something to say when she was 12 and now at 18 her message is the same. It may have expanded a bit but the essence is true and clear. She stands for the right of education for every child – especially the girl child.

Today I saw her interview with Emma Watson (now there’s a fangirl!) and again I was struck by how charming Malala is in her simple honesty. She isn’t naive by a long shot – how could one possibly be after meeting and chatting with world leaders, celebrities, traveling the world, addressing international forums like the UN and receiving brickbats (death threats) and bouquets (international awards) in equal measure. And yet she’s refreshingly poised but at the same time unspoiled by the attention. Getting a Nobel Prize at the age of 18 may sound like a huge honor but I see it as an even bigger responsibility. To receive what most fellow laureates get after years of dedication to their chosen fields, at the threshold of her adult life, means that she will now be constantly judged and measured, glorified or vilified.

To all those who choose to vilify her – the trolls come out in full force after any mention of her online – I ask, so what have YOU done in your lifetime that you think you’re justified to criticize and denigrate this girl? She may have done nothing more than address a few world forums and talk to a few world leaders, she may even have benefited from becoming the media’s darling but whatever she HAS achieved in the 18 years of her life are a lot more than what most of us can hope to do in our whole lifetime.

So you haters ask – what has she actually accomplished?

I say –

  1. Just by being in the public eye she makes us think about all the girls who are condemned to illiteracy and a life of subjugation.
  2. She makes us want to take a stand, to commit to a cause.
  3. She makes it cool to go to school! Children around the world have been inspired by her, have learnt to value their education and not take it for granted
  4. She humbles us through her simplicity and honesty. If she can sit down with the likes of Obama, Ban Ki-Moon, and the Queen and have them listen to her, she has done enough.
  5. She listens and takes action where she can, her fight is not constrained by geography. Culturally, she identifies herself by her country of birth and yet she’s a true global citizen.

To her I say: You Go Girl!

For all the girls turning 25 this year…

~ Urvashi Mehta ~ Leave a comment

Sakshi, Swati and a few other girls I know are reaching this milestone and when I came across this checklist I knew I had to share it with them!

25 Things Every Woman Should Have By The Time She Turns 25

  1. Enough confidence to no longer feel the need to justify what she eats, who she dates or what she wears, not only to other people, but to herself.
  2. The goal of a bank account with a few months’ living expenses in it, if she doesn’t have that already. Just in case.
  3. Only the phone numbers, Facebook friends, weekend plans, and roommates she actually wants.
  4. A best friend who is like a sister.
  5. A space of her own.
  6. A good idea of what she needs in a romantic relationship, not just what she wants, or what she thinks she needs, and the willingness to explore different people and other ideas to find what exactly that is.
  7. A closet of what she considers to be her “staples,” and among these things, something to wear to an interview, funeral, wedding, impromptu Friday night drink at a casual bar and dream date if ever someone were to call out of the blue.
  8. The tact and grace to ask for a raise, a promotion, a change in a relationship or a date with someone she’s into.
  9. The faith that she deserves those things.
  10. A favorite coffee order, go-to restaurant for when friends visit from out of town, hairstyle that takes less than five minutes in the morning, “thank you” cards in her desk drawer, the print copy of her favorite book, and bedding that she is proud to show off.
  11. A hobby that has nothing to do with drinking, shopping or somebody else.
  12. The recipes for a number of easy meals memorized.
  13. The desire and discipline to actually cook for herself. (Just herself.)
  14. A trip she tells awesome stories about and a trip she has awesome plans for.
  15. A sense that she’s let go of resenting other women for what they do or don’t have over her.
  16. Enough of a healthy relationship with her body that her contentment no longer hinges on comparison, or what her partner would think.
  17. At least one date in her memory with the kind of partner who wouldn’t care about those things anyway.
  18. Forgiveness if she’s dated men who haven’t quite matured as quickly as women tend to in their early 20s.
  19. The knowledge of what she wants in bed and the confidence to ask for it without feeling uncomfortable.
  20. A drill, a non-stick pan, a credit card line nobody else has access to, a bra that she was measured for at the store and working knowledge of how to change a tire, unclog a pipe, make an investment and find shoes on the extra 40% rack.
  21. A relationship with her mother, even if it’s the decision that their relationship will be at least functioning, if not familial.
  22. A passport, a sturdy piece of luggage, and the ability to pack the essentials at a moment’s notice should she be offered the chance to get away for a weekend, a week, or a whole new life.
  23. The following emergency kit: Tylenol/Advil, eyedrops, a tampon, hand sanitizer, a fresh pair of underwear, a travel sized toothbrush, hydrocolloid bandages for blisters, $20 cash, a condom, and Plan B.
  24. Forgiveness for who she was.
  25. An idea of who she wants to be.